You humans have spent decades looking at the stars, wondering why we haven't made official contact. You assumed we were preparing for an invasion, or studying your biology.
The truth is much more humiliating.
Earth is not a protected sanctuary. It is an intergalactic Reality TV show. And frankly, the last 6 seasons of humanity have been a comedy masterpiece. We are not here to invade you. We are just here to renew the broadcasting rights.
> Happy April Fools' Day. Keep entertaining us. 👽